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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

On a hot air baloon with my boyfriend and another friend (not the same as in RL, I don't really know them). It crashes in the sea and we're rescued by sailors. They treat me ok, until the captain lusts for me and says he wants to possess me. My boyfriend does nothing and says nothing and I start loathing him. His friend also stays quiet, they just want to get out alive. I end up at home somehow with no recollection of all that happened in between.
At my old bedroom in my mom's house, trying to sleep. But the room is haunted! The furniture is moving to the middle of room, the drawers open by themselves. I go wake up my mom, she doesn't see anything, but she helps me put things in their place. Then she leaves and one of my dolls is possessed and starts making sounds. I gather my courage and confront the spirit and ask what they want. They say they want me. I dare them to appear. They do, they look androginous, sexy, remind me of Desire of the Endless, appearing both male and female. We have a long talk, they want me to sign a paper, I refuse. They say I'll be their sexual slave, wanting or not and they taunt me by describing what they'll do to me. I confess I start to feel a bit horny and decide to twist it and I seduce the demon instead. I expose my breasts and dare them to lick them. They do. I put aside my disgust when I see their long triangular shaped tongue and I get closer and kiss them. I caress their breasts too and then their dick, until I cause an erection and make them cum. I feel like I avoided the worst but then they say I'll be coming to live with them in some place underwater and show me it on a map. I say no. They laugh and say I have no choice as I am carrying their baby. I am confused. Then the captain who had rescued/kidnapped me before appears out of nowhere and they reveal he is an extension or avatar of the demon. They laugh and say they didn't need to impregnate me now because I am impregnated already. I say no way and I run to the bathroom. I know it is possible, I am trying to feel if I can feel it inside me growing. I want to abort, I also know they'll never allow it. I panic.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

On my way to meet some professor I am supposed to interview while we take a journey on a hot air balloon for a radio show or podcast. It's the end of the day and rhe sky is gorgeous with pink clouds, so I am rehearsing in my mind the description I am going to make during the broadcast. I am on the highway, but not actually driving inside any car, more like flying or sliding through it. Then I wonder why not just take off and go straight to me destination if I am flying? I do and the ground becomes like a 3D google map. I keep my focus on where I want to go and turns out it is to the church hill in my hometown. I land there, at the base of the hill and then walk it up. But instead of the church, there is some other building on it, like a university and I wonder where I am supposed to go, so I enter the lobby and look around. I see no one that looks like the professor, so then I look back to outside through the glass doors at the entrance and I spot a very low key dude sitting in a table on a corner right outside the entrance. I wonder if it is him and so I go back outside. He is on the phone with his wife and has a sort of pager bipping on the table. He makes a sign for me to wait. His wife is yelling at him to check his pager as some friend is coming over or something and she wants him to drop everything and go home. But very calmly he tells her no and says he won't even read or reply to any messages. Then he gets up and shakes my hand. Says it's late and we can't go on the balloon anymore. I tell him I am sorry, but feeling confused why then we arranged to meet in the evening. I ask him to suggest then what we can do. He tells me we can do something different and then starts singing. He has an impressive voice and he sings a Coimbra fado. He suggests he can do some singing and then we talk about his project. But he also says it won't be today as he will just show me what he is working on. He tells me to follow him to his office. It's when I notice everyone is staring at me. Because I am dressed in lolita style, with socks over my knees with ribbons, fluffly skirt and a couple of braids. Also carrying a black leather hand bag. The university students are making funny comments and laughing and when they see us entering his office, I overhear some people making dirty jokes. They think I am a prostitute satisfying his weird fantasies and that I carry certain type of objects in my bag. He also hears it but he completely ignores it. I admire his cool. So he sits at his desk and shows me some logaritmic equation and guides me through it showing the answer at the end is "pp" and that is supposed to be a good spicy math joke. I find it silly, but I smile and I wish I could still remember how to solve such a simple equation. Then we discuss our main project which is the integration of his website with the one from my own department and university, joining two entirely different fields in a collaborstive project. At this point, a couple of his female colleagues in their late 50s come in and sit at his invite. He then goes out briefly and they start with innuendos that I am derailing the professor's marriage and that I should be ashamed. And I am like "WTF? you have no idea what we are working on!" and I am pissed how much people assume because of me being a young lady with a certain look. Then they mention his wife and they know he ignored her calls because she then called them. They also mention I might not be actively trying to seduce him, but they can see it in his eyes that he is attracted to me me and I actually feel flattered. I thought he was totally cold and uninterested but know I kinda like the idea.

Morning of May 27, 1995. Saturday.



I find myself in the backyard of the Cubitis property in late morning. I vaguely recall a childhood dream (same setting and time) where a flying saucer hovered above me, casting a large round shadow over an area of the backyard and upon me. I am not viably lucid (that is, I remain unaware that I am dreaming), but there is faux lucidity where I illogically make the connections as relevant to presumed reality. I find the situation more interesting than threatening.

Zsuzsanna is present in the living room, looking through the east windows. I tell her of how this has happened before, and that the last time, I ran south, somehow vertically running straight down the side of a ravine, then running horizontally on the ground and across the surface of the river, and running vertically straight up the other side to continue running normally.

As I decide to attempt this again (even after over twenty-five years), I look back as I start to cheerfully run and see it is not a flying saucer but a hot air balloon. This puzzles me and instead of running straight down the side of the deep ravine as I near it, I awake with a slight falling sensation and with a mild hypnopompic kick. I am close to laughing aloud shortly after waking.

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Liminal space fallacy: This is a specific type of faux lucidity, where I attempt to duplicate an event from an older dream without realizing I am dreaming, yet I also perceive my situation as only my dream self could in a dream. Even so, this faux reasoning is something that could not occur in consciousness, and additionally, cannot even be logically perceived or resolved as even being possible, yet it is, as I am very familiar with its dynamics. For me, this proves that dreams are of an entirely different nature, purpose, and meaning than what most people claim.

Faux threads: Cubitis has not been my home since June 1978. Zsuzsanna has never been to America. The shadow was cast in the wrong direction (oriented southerly instead of westerly). There were no deeper ravines near where I lived. It is not possible to run vertically down or up the side of a ravine or run over the surface of a river.

Literal threads: Zsuzsanna’s presence, genuine recall of a childhood dream from 1969.

Current thread: Zsuzsanna’s presence only (that is, no viable recall of any other current life status, including our present address).

Vestibular system thread: The hot air balloon, in addition to being associated with breathing while sleeping, was biologically premonitory of the hypnopompic kick. (Falling in a dream is usually the result of natural vestibular system ambiguity by inherently not being able to balance the imaginary dream body in unconsciousness. As such, it is unrelated to the popular myth of “interpretation”.)

Emergent consciousness thread: The hot air balloon’s shadow signifies the looming essence of the conscious self and the inevitability of waking. This implies a different form of RAS mediation than when the preconscious is dominantly personified to rouse the emergent consciousness thread.

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NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

0:55 GMT – Sleep

“Gay” friends
I’m with mom, coming out from her home, down the ramp to the main road. Once again I hope not to cross with this neighbour I had a crush for many years ago. Me and mom then drive to some city that looks like Brussels but a lot more colourful. We are looking for a place to eat but we have difficulty passing with the car to the area we want to go (because of traffic limitations) and then we spend a lot of time looking for parking. We just decide to go back home and cook something, because we’re already running out of time to go somewhere.
Later on I’m visiting this 2 friends. They are metrosexual guys in their 30’s who live together and everybody thinks are gay. I know they aren’t but they don’t seem to convince anyone else. One of them is on the phone with an old aunt and she is asking him if he still lives with his friend – hopeful that he might be finally living a straight life with a girl friend. He gets the innuendo in her voice and he replies a bit abruptly that yes he is living with his friend but they are not “living” together. He says he is tired of trying to explain but he no longer cares what they think but I don’t believe him. I sense he is still upset.

Friend from Iceland
With a group of friends in some kind of waiting room. One girl in the group who has family in Iceland was supposed to be going there but I hear on the news that there was another volcanic eruption and her village is in flames and many people are dead. She actually laughs at me when I go back to the room and tell her, but I tell her I’m not joking. She then gets upset and the others are comforting her..
Later I go down the corridor of this place (looks like an airport waiting room) and I enter a staff only area. I pass by some offices and I am aware I’ll be asked what I am doing there if someone sees me. So, logically I decide to sit on a sofa at the entrance of one of the far end offices, just on top of some stairs going down. There’s someone inside the office and I am nervous but decide to stay there. I see a table with magazines and maps and pick up something. Then some lady comes up the stairs and asks me if I such and such person who has an appointment now. She is psychologist. Apparently I wanted to pretend I was such person but I fail to keep the lie and she starts suspecting. I just look at what I have in my hand and it is a map of Ghent (in Belgium). I recognize the streets and the main area around the bigger canal and I decide to jump off this dream and land there.

British royalty
I enter the map and land in front of the canal. I feel amused, I’m slightly aware that I am dreaming and decide to jump on the water with a huge splash. I have some fun and then realise there’s some sort of gathering or parade on the city. The British royalty is present and I see Prince Charles on a carriage parading in front of people. But the most interesting is that I spot the Queen and the Queen-mother under disguise following him on foot through the middle of the public. I wonder why nobody else noticed that already and I also wonder what they are up to. Then the Queen-mother feels sick. In the middle of the crowd no one seems to notice, but Prince Charles knows and jumps off the carriage and goes pick her up. The public is still not aware of what’s going on but a bunch of body-guards come from all over the place to surround them. The prince takes his granny up on his arms to a van nearby and they run fast to avoid people starting grabbing and pushing when they realise who is walking among them.

5:30 GMT

Sleeping over and sharing room
I’m sleeping over at some guy’s house with a 2nd guy. The house owner is an older guy, foreign, tall with grey hair and the second guy is Manuel, shorter, with glasses and round face, whom I know – he is a politician.
For some reason I don’t grasp we’re sharing the same room and the 2 guys are on the same bed and left space for me to join them – nothing sexual intended, just sleeping. But still I feel extremely uncomfortable and just sit on the floor writing on my paper DJ. I turn my face to sneeze and I expel really disgusting green and brown goo that dirties the wall. Manuel woke up and sees it and feels disgusted, but his reaction is to pretend he is still sleeping and didn’t see anything. I try to clean it up with Kleenexes but it’s not working. Then the older guy wakes up and helps me out. He goes get a wet tissue and I am able to clean the mess. But either he is upset that I woke him up or also feeling disgusted, he goes to the living room and watches TV. It’s around 5 am and I tell him he should go back asleep but he doesn’t even reply. I realise we are talking in English but the guy speaks Portuguese and the other is also Portuguese, so I say “sorry for speaking in English but it just comes natural for me and the guy smiles and says it’s the same for him.”

7:00 GMT

Hot air balloon
With a group of youngsters, I look at the sky and see some strange clouds, in the shape of medusas. We think it’s a UFO and then one lands on the ground nearby and from inside it comes a second bunch of youngsters. They are totally excited, they come to us and say they’ve just had a ride on an hot air balloon and that we must go to.
The group I’m with gets totally convinced and decides to go. A tram arrives to take them to the balloon. They ask me if I wanna join. I first say no, that the experience of being up on the air is not new to me and I don’t see much the point. But they insist and I finally agree. I also enter the tram. As I enter the tram, the driver, an old gentleman with white moustache smiles at me and tells me the ticket costs 6 EUR. I sit by the side of a little girl who is more scared than excited and I tell her it will be ok. We arrive at the top of a hill but the balloon is on the ground, not yet filled with hot air and we feel disappointed.

Medical centre in home town
I’m inside a village medical centre. I’m near the desk, I think waiting for my turn. My mom is also there and we make shifts on the queue. She is telling everybody I have an appointment with Dr. Fernando Nobre – he is a doctor but I don’t think he practices anymore, he is the director of an international NGO and is currently running for the presidency, so I don’t really understand why I supposedly have an appointment with him. My attention is attracted to this lady on the desk, she is in her 60’s and she is speaking Russian and German to the patients who come talk to her. I feel impressed, because from my experience these ladies on the medical centre’s desk are usually quite ignorant and impolite. I see on the desk a basket of apples for people to take. I take one and I am surprised to find it is organic. I also see these posters on the wall announcing some organic fair or convention. Are they finally teaching people about real healthy options in life? I feel so surprised. As I wonder about these things I turn to my left and meet this hippie-ish couple. I think she is pregnant and we start talking about these “organic developments”. I then go outside to get some fresh air and I pass by all these people from my home town – girls from my school now with kids, fat and totally dull. I don’t want to judge people but they are totally judging me. They look at me from head to toes, with disapproving yet jealous looks. I then see my reflection on the glass wall – I am almost in my warrior me: short dark hair, dressed in black and red, so totally different from them, like worlds apart. I think how I cherish my adventurous life and couldn’t settle with a desk job 9 to 5 and marrying and having kids and living back in home town. I feel grateful but I am also aware this is ego cherishing and I should not feed it.

8:20 GMT – Wake up

Morning of March 7, 1997. Friday.



In my dream, I am apparently part of a science-fiction scenario, though it is not directly evidenced as being a movie in progress. Much of it seems impersonal and inconsequential to me despite the fanciful nature of the events. It is occurring in afternoon. The situation seemingly relates to invisible aliens coming to Earth to invade and conquer. However, the alien activity seems more like magic or perhaps even the work of one entity, though it is possibly just advanced technology that is being utilized. I feel vaguely puzzled about this situation, though I do not feel threatened at any time.

At one point, hot air balloons that first seem normal transform into brontosaurus shapes and eventually come down to land on the ground, becoming more lifelike. (Curiously, I do not make the association with parade balloons even though this was a probable influence.) Some people seem amused, others alarmed. (There is no focus on what may have happened to the people in the hot air balloons.) Some people remain in the area. Others flee. I remain impassive.

Another scene involves finding a business that may have been taken over and which is also corrupt. I burn some curtains by sending white lightning from my fingertips.

Don Knotts, another actor (possibly Andy Griffith), and I ride together in a car. The trip is uneventful.

There is also a scene where an unknown unfamiliar female has several guns in her house in preparation for the supposed increase of alien activity, which may change the nature of society. My dream fades with no dominant RAS mediation and a soft uneventful awakening.

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Looking at very familiar symbolism in this dream, it is recognized that the depth of my sleep changed a few times, which affected my level of lucidity. The hot air balloons are a combined link to real-time vestibular system dynamics and depth of breathing while sleeping. The balloons coming down to land on the ground signifies sustaining the dream state rather than the waking transition being more imminent. Despite natural vestibular system ambiguity while unconscious, my dream held my focus of imagination with living dinosaurs and aliens, factors not related to waking life.

The main liminal space division (other than the basic implication of ground and sky) features in the scene where I direct lightning at the curtains. The curtains are implied to be over either a window or a door. The liminal space divider is that which keeps the dream self identity as uncoalesced with the conscious self identity (which is why opening a door, normally a dream’s implied exit point or otherwise a shift in the present level of unconsciousness, sometimes serves as apex lucidity induction for me). Additionally, lightning symbolizes neural energy. As my dream self has the ability to produce and direct lightning, I am attempting to bring additional threads of awareness into the dream state, but there is a biological factor that mediates my depth of sleep and level of awareness. My lucidity is only at about fifty percent in this scene where it otherwise remains much less.

Still, the natural RAS mediation never fully dominates. In the final scene, the preconscious takes the role of an unfamiliar female who never uses her guns, which means I allow myself to enter the waking transition without a need for prompting.

My understanding and acceptance of the natural stages of the sleep cycle (and the inevitability of waking) and the dream state in this case prevented a more violent scenario. However, there are many times when I challenge RAS (due to wanting to sleep longer or to hold full control over the dream state) which results in shooting all contents of the waking space (inconsequential of course, other than coloring my mood to seeing my final dream of the sleeping period as frustrating for a short time).

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